Little Reminders

Sometimes, life takes us in so many different directions that I end up not being in the right place to catch one of the endless balls in the air. Keeping a calendar helps, and sending myself text and email reminders has been a great technological advantage. Appointments, rehearsals, meetings, classes, work assignments - there are very few days when at least one of us doesn't have to be somewhere, or have a deadline to meet.

Pie safe, with a new lease on life!

There are other reminders that serve to keep us on our path, and help us remember what's important. Dearest recently 'rescued' the pie safe that I grew up with; cleaning, refurbishing, and tightening all the joints after it spent several years gathering dust and falling to pieces in my mother's garage. It's a piece of furniture that has always given me comfort, because it was there when I was too young to know about the very hard things in life. It came out of an old house when Dad was working in demolition, before I was born, and he just couldn't bear to toss it aside. Hard to believe that glass has survived all the roughhousing when us kids were growing up! My brother took it when my parents moved, and stripped the old black stain to reveal the warm oak color. He gave it to me when my big kids were little, and I felt as though I was welcoming an old friend.

Lately, with Carey and her family moving, there has been a flood of reminders wrapped up in the house next door. The house where Dearest and I decided we'd have children, first through fostering, and then adoption. Where Girlie came to us only weeks after we'd made the decision. Where we said 'hello' to a brand-new-born babe that we thought was going to be our own, and then - with only two hours notice - 'good-bye' six weeks later (I choose to believe his story has a happy ending, because with confidentiality laws I will never know for sure). Where Tall Boy and Carey finally came to live with us full time, then Boyo came - and through one thing and another we ended up with two more for a total of six children in that little house (four of them teenagers), for eight months! The pie safe was there then, but had to be moved a few years later due to a severe case of us bustin' out at the seams in that house. Considering there was one person in particular, not to mention any names (coughBoyocough), who literally climbed the walls, and a couple little people who threw things during meltdowns, the pie safe was no longer safe in my care in such a little house.

No matter how many times I thank him, Dearest can't completely know the importance of this gift. Just a piece of furniture? No. In fact, although the photo shows it empty, it never was. The pie safe has always been full of reminders of comfort, safety, and the assurance that we can endure. ♥

Plugged in...

I tried in vain to resist immersing the two younger kids in unnecessary electronics and technology.  I just kept thinking about traveling with the two older kids and how they would play word games, or look out the window, or actually have conversations with us or each other.  I think I finally gave up and got our first portable DVD player when Boyo was about five, and we were on the verge of refusing to go anywhere more than about 10 miles from home – about as much car trip as he could handle without pushing Girlie to meltdown point, and Dearest and I to the limits of our tolerance.  Occasionally he’d work himself up to being carsick.  Sometimes he even gets too agitated out of a sense of competition when we play ‘I Spy’ for random things we might see along the way!

Of course we don’t know exactly what’s going on in his head, but traveling makes him anxious anyway, and I think seeing all the visual input outside our van is overwhelming.  It’s nice when we can point out something – he loves spotting unusual birds or deer, for instance – but then he can go right back to watching the movie or playing his game and not think about the trip.  Girlie doesn’t have any real difficulties with travel, for the most part, and she’s just as happy to read a book if we’re traveling in daylight.  In fact, it’s only been recently they’ve stopped asking me to read aloud; I read “Kildee House” (Rutherford G. Montgomery, 1949) on the way home from Sacramento in 2009 – about 11 hours of reading with a couple short breaks – and didn’t want to speak for several days afterward.  But what great memories we all have of that trip!

From what I understand, it's common for kids with similar challenges to use games, movies, or mp3 players to help stay calm.  I admit it was a hard thing to come to terms with, maybe especially because I’m an older parent and we didn’t need any of these newfangled things back in my day!  :-) I think when we use the tools carefully, they have their place and serve a great purpose.  During our trips we ‘check in’ with the kids; ask them to pause, have a bit of conversation, point out a landmark or two, answer their questions about where we are and how much longer the trip will last, and then let them get back to being plugged in.  As for me, if I’m not knitting, I’ll just read a book… lemme just make sure it’s fully charged...

My nook color - which I love - in a knitted and felted cover I made, using the framework of a hardback book with about half the pages removed.