Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Catch 22

Yep, that title is a good fit!

Girlie has been taking social skills classes at an autism learning center for a few years, now. Her progress has been amazing, and when I think of how she has matured, and how much her behavior has changed, it's easy to feel some confidence for her future success. However, it's important to keep in mind that when she takes a social skills class at an autism learning center with a group of her peers, she is with a group of her peers. That means the kids whose example she may follow are probably having similar behaviors and reactions.

It's important, albeit tricky sometimes, to ensure that children on the spectrum can join in supervised activities with neurotypical kids but away from school so they can observe typical kids doing what typical kids do. The reason I think it's important to do this away from a school setting is because most of the school day is pretty structured and the expectations are considerably different than they are in a less formal environment, where a kiddo with challenges in social behavior may be at loose ends, not knowing what is expected or which type of behavior to emulate. Those parents who have their kids involved in Scouts or church-affiliated youth groups are ahead of the game. In our rural area it can be hard to find options with which our family is a good fit.

Middle school is such a proving ground, and the stakes are very high; failures can be spectacular even for neurotypical kids. Of course this means siblings of kids on the spectrum can have more challenges, too, possibly creating further tension to an already strained relationship.

Now is a good time to spend more time talking, trying to imagine scenarios (which is a good exercise for our very literal kiddos, anyway), predicting what expected behaviors might look like, and problem-solving possible stumbling blocks.

Lyrics popped into my head when I began that last paragraph, from Funkytown by Lipps, Inc. It occurred to me how appropriate the whole song is from the standpoint of kids on the spectrum or with other challenges, and how they do have to find a place where they fit. If you've had enough coffee, you might even enjoy watching a blast-from-the-past video.  :-)

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