Milestones

I’ve been noticing some changes in Girlie’s behavior lately.  When I noticed this particular event I put it down to a rare occurrence that has been repeated a few times over the years.  When I saw it a second time within several days, I wondered if something new was happening.  The third time, I decided it’s a trend.

Girlie has reached a milestone in her maturity that has given her the ability to be patient and tolerant enough to play with her niece for more than just a few minutes at a time.  Of course, it also has to do with the niece’s maturity level, too, because she’s five years old now.  Madee’s speech is much easier to understand than even a year ago, so that helps, but she still has a big imagination and makes up stories that her Aunt Girlie just didn’t have the patience for even a few months ago.

Over the past several weeks, Girlie has colored with Madee, offered pictures from her favorite coloring books, allowed Madee to play as an equal when Girlie had a friend visiting, and asked her older sister for permission to brush Madee’s hair – which she then proceeded to do very thoroughly and neatly.

Now I’ll go back to the month before I noticed these things.  Girlie’s OT and I have discussed an interesting phenomenon a few times over the years; we’ve noticed that when a breakthrough is made it is usually preceded by difficulty with behaviors that had previously been overcome.  Remember back in November and early December when I mentioned some particularly violent meltdowns?  Unfortunately, this doesn’t mean I can predict which things will be mastered according to which setbacks Girlie is having; there has never been a discernible connection.  It’s all happening inside her brain where we can’t see and possibly, or probably, even Girlie wouldn’t be able to articulate what’s going on.  It doesn’t matter, after the fact; we’re all just happy when progress is made.

Does this mean Girlie will always be able to tolerate being around the younger kids, now?  No; in fact there were a few times during the power outage when folks came over to get warm and Girlie disappeared.  That’s another sign of maturity, though – removing herself from a situation before it stresses her out.  That’s a milestone anyone could be happy about!

Not a milestone I aspire to, but one by which I am very much impressed! This group of folks knitted enough fabric to cover the entire mile-long maze in Saffron Walden, Essex, UK.  Wish I could have seen it in person!

Good Things to Know!

When the power is out for four-plus days, there is plenty of time to think about things: frivolous gets about the same amount of brain time as useful.  :-)

Sally Hansen Color Quick nail polish is free of formaldehyde and toluene, so is especially nice for kids and sensitive users.  It comes in a pen-type dispenser that is very easy for Girlie to use and dries fast (which is great if someone is trying to sneak in a manicure at bedtime - not mentioning any names).  The color doesn't last long if you only apply a single coat but that makes removal easy, too. With two coats and a clear top coat, I got five days before the polish started wearing at the edges!  Since Girlie is dyspraxic, she has always had a difficult time with nail polish application; it's great when she finds something this simple to use and can polish her own nails very neatly, with no danger of spills.  Especially if she is in her bed.

Karma Organics nail polish remover is amazing.  It not only works very well, it is soy-based and 100% organic.  It doesn't fill the house with chemical odor, and comes in several formulations and unscented - we like the lavender variety.  The KO nail polish, also free of toluene and formaldehyde, is exceptionally long-lasting, too.

You might be surprised at how much fun crossword puzzles can be when the whole family participates - and at how much the kids can contribute!  How is it an eleven year old boy immediately guessed the answer to "where rings are exchanged"?  Yep, it's "altar", but how did he know that?  We only had the first 'A' filled in.

It may not be necessary to throw out everything from the freezer after a power outage.  According to the FDA website, food that still has ice crystals is safe to cook or re-freeze.  We were happy to know that, with about twelve pounds of wild Alaskan cod in the freezer!

Having picnic supplies - paper cups, bowls, plates, plastic cutlery, and wet wipes - on hand during a power outage is a great way to avoid having every single dish dirty in the sink.  It definitely wouldn't have taken all four days for the four of us, with visits from the big kids and grandkids, to go through all the dishes we own!  I know it's not very 'green', but it saves wear and tear on morale and doesn't add as much of a burden to clean-up time after the power comes back on.

Did I miss out on knitting time?  No, in fact, when you use dark knitting needles like KnitPicks Harmony wood needles and pale yarn, it is possible to knit comfortably in very low light conditions.  Thank goodness.

Classic Camel Vest in Lion Brand Fishermen's Wool

Power Play

We were safe and warm during the snow and ice storms, because we have a propane fireplace. We didn't have the ability to use our water or flush our toilets, but at least one couldn't see one's breath inside the house, as was the case for so many other families. It meant we could make bottled water warm for cocoa, coffee, and oatmeal.  It meant we could hang damp clothes in front of the fire to dry. It meant we could knit and read stories of Riki Tiki Tavi and Mowgli by firelight almost as if there weren't huge snow- and ice-covered branches falling with cracks like gunshots all around the neighborhood, dragging more power lines down by the hour.

The kids managed better than expected, but I admit to letting the van run a few times solely for the purpose of charging video games.  It was sitting there snowed in, with a full tank of gas; I thought I could justify the unnecessary emissions in exchange for the time the kids could spend absorbed in their games, not worrying about anything else.

We have a lot to be thankful for; many homes in the area are still without power, and our outage was from Thursday morning 'til Sunday afternoon.  Time to get caught up with laundry and chores, and I'm sure there will be plenty of homework this afternoon!

Thick ice coated everything during the 'silver thaw'

Holding Pattern

Our section of town is still in the dark.  Crews are out working, and the roads are clear so I was able to go to Tall Boy's house to shower and  post a quick update.  Hopefully we'll be back soon!

Snow Days!

Amidst intermittent power outages, shoveling out after the snow plow goes by, and trying to stay caught up with wet boots and mittens, I'm going to take a little break. Well, from writing, anyway...

By the time Saturday comes, after being home with the kids during all this snow, I'll really need a break!  I sure am looking forward to the Yarn Train trip.  I'll be joining a whole train full of knitters with friend Rhondi*, daughter Carey, and a couple more great friends taking the Amtrak to Portland for a day of knitting and shopping and traveling in comfort.  Sounds like just the thing to celebrate the end of a week of cabin fever  :-)

I'll be back soon!

The view out our south window the morning after 13 inches
of new snow fell. Glad I refilled the feeders the day before!

*By the way, thanks, Rhondi, for helping me fix up my peacock feather image to use as my new banner!  :-)

Whiplash

Sometimes the change of direction in mood and feelings in this house is enough to cause emotional whiplash.  It’s probably clear that some posts I write are timely indicators of real life in our family.  Yesterday was a perfect example; it was no accident that I wrote of ODD.  Combine a long holiday weekend with unusual weather, followed by a snow day, and…  So I prepared my blog post as a reassurance that I was doing OK, and reading the linked research article to remind myself how much worse things used to be.

There are times when, five minutes after conflagration, someone shows up with a hug and, “Mom, I love you!” while I’m still shaking with anger, disappointment, and fear that we could lose a child down a black hole of sociopathic behavior.  Sounds like an exaggeration, right?  No; in fact, some of the explanations we’ve heard sound like they’re coming from a kid who inhabits a completely different reality than the one we’re in. Dearest is the one who first referred to that feeling as ‘emotional whiplash’, and it feels like a pretty accurate description.

One of our daily struggles is with music practice, as Speed Racer feels like one run through each piece, in double time, with mistakes in every measure, constitutes ‘practice’.  It isn’t that he doesn’t like to play, he just feels like playing all his music takes a lot longer than the seven actual minutes of playing time he just had – classic ADHD, right there.  His adamant refusal to look at a clock, use a timer, or find some other way to keep track and ensure he is playing each piece at least twice is ODD digging in its heels. 

How ironic, then, that our music teacher called just as I was finishing my post to tell me that Boyo had an exceptionally good lesson on the piano and the trumpet yesterday afternoon.  We spent a few minutes talking about how much progress Boyo has made in the five years with this teacher, and how much he enjoys working with Boyo.  What a great call to receive right at bedtime – and yes, I did go right upstairs to interrupt while Dearest was saying goodnight amidst the jokes and giggles to tell Boyo about the call.  Oh, when those blue eyes are sparkling and the dimples are showing: what a perfect way to end the day.  ♥

Martina Behm's 22.5 Degrees pattern knitted with
Lion Brand 'Amazing' in Olympia and Arcadia colors.

One of the favorite knits from two years ago was this 22.5 Degrees scarf.  Might not protect one from emotional whiplash, but it sure keeps one's neck warm!

Brick Wall

Parenting a child with Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD) is like having an aggressive brick wall in the family.  It doesn't wait for one to accidentally walk into it; this brick wall will go looking to slam into folks.  Dearest and I have spent a large portion of the last eight years or so learning how best to deal with Boyo’s ODD behavior.

My personal library is pretty extensive and includes several books on autism, Asperger’s Syndrome, and related issues.  Regarding ODD, there are some books on explosive behaviors and ‘strong-willed’ children, but there doesn’t seem to be a comprehensive selection of books on that topic available.

Autism has garnered a lot of media attention in the last several years especially, and whereas, when Girlie was first diagnosed we knew only a few people who had a clue what we were talking about, now it seems most everyone knows of someone on the spectrum.  There are still very few people who are aware of ODD other than thinking it is a nice way to refer to a disobedient kid who has slacker parents. 

What really concerns me about the lack of knowledge is that kids who would otherwise be diagnosed with ODD may slip through the cracks and right into the corrections system.  There is no medication therapy specifically for ODD, but it’s a disorder that tends to be co-morbid with other conditions such as ADD/ADHD, autism spectrum disorders, and Fetal Alcohol Syndrome/Fetal Alcohol Effect (FAS/FAE).  Now, think about what you know of foster care and the numbers of drug- and alcohol-affected children in that system.  That adds up to a lot of potential for violent, dangerous kids.

I talk about this subject often to friends, teachers, and anyone else who will listen.  It’s important to know what ODD is because counseling and therapy can help teach parents and kids interventions, behavior modifications, and coping methods.  We feel like we at least have a doorway through our brick wall!

'Brick Wall' socks knitted in KnitPicks 'Stroll'

Boyo chose the pattern for the socks he asked me to knit.  Coincidence?  ;-)