Direction

It's interesting when one suddenly becomes aware of something that has been a regular occurrence for quite a while.  Recently I realized Girlie occasionally needs to be told how she feels, or how she should feel.  Even as I write it, I realize it seems to go against everything we are told about allowing others to experience their own emotions, without judgment, in the way that is natural for them.

Here is an example:  when Girlie gets herself upset about something, it almost seems as if she is obligated to stay upset.  She was distraught about homework and had decided she would never get to watch television because homework was going to take forever.  I pointed out that if she would make up her mind to get the homework done she could easily complete it and have some screen time.  Seems simple and straightforward, right?  No - in fact, she continued to cry because homework would take forever and she wouldn't get to watch television!  Wait a second... didn't we just take care of that?

I ended up presenting the conversation in kind of a checklist format:
Me - Do you want to watch television?
Her - Yes.
Me - Do you agree that if you get your homework done quickly you will still have time to watch television?
Her - Yes.
Me - Do you understand that you were in charge of that choice?
Her - Yes.
Me - Why are you still crying?
Her - Because everyone is mad at me!
Me - Look at me; do I look mad?
Her - No.
Me - OK. I'm giving you information now - you don't have to cry or be upset because we figured it out: you'll get your homework done fast and then have TV and dessert.  OK?
Her - OK.
The End.

See how that went, though?  It's amazing how long a process can take if I have to figure out how to get into Girlie's head first.  That's not even accurate; I didn't get into her head, I just basically decided her record was stuck and needed to be nudged a bit.  It was a learning experience for me (I expect to be pretty wise, someday) and it won't be long before we have a review.  One of the great things about writing this blog is that I have a chance to review ideas and techniques while I type, cementing in my head what seems to work and sometimes why it works.  If this is helping me on the path to becoming a better parent, it's a step in the right direction.  :-)

Sometimes it's fun to start a project without a direction in mind. When I knitted this bag it started out as an exercise in stranded knitting.  I didn't have a pattern, or a chart for the design, because I was just playing with the technique of knitting with two strands.  I just let the yarn dictate until I was nearly out of yarn, and realized if I made a gusset at the bottom it would be just about perfectly sized for a make-up bag.  I got lucky with the liner and zipper, neither of which I had ever sewed before.  Sometimes you have to let the project choose its own direction!

Knitted with KnitPicks 'Shine' worsted, a cotton/modal blend.