Out and About

Both kids were out and about on Saturday.  Girlie had a training event with the Guide Dog Puppy Raisers Group.  The area coordinator is a wonderful woman who has a lot of experience working with kids, including kids on the spectrum.  This was the second time she has taken Girlie without having a parent along, and she said it went very well. Boyo went to his grandma's house to do a little outdoor clean-up and then was allowed to watch cartoons with  her caregiver (a big treat, as we don't have cable!).  They weren't being taken care of by babysitters; they were out excercising their independence and acting responsibly, adjusting to what was expected of them.

Dearest and I had a lovely afternoon date that included lunch, a little shopping, and a lot of laughs.  It was wonderful, and a great chance for us to reconnect and enjoy each other on a social level; something we don't get to do very often. This problem is familiar to so many folks who have children with challenges.  One of the first things we are told as parents of kids with special needs is to make opportunities to have time away from the children. When one has been a parent as long as I have - nearly twenty-eight years - it's easy, right?  No; in fact, it's great advice, but can be so difficult to achieve!  When one has children with challenges, it is much more difficult not to be a 'helicopter mom'.

It has taken me a while, but I have become brave enough to ask folks outside the family to supervise the kids.  Besides attending the dog training events, Girlie has spent the night with a young lady who is in her social skills classes.  The two of them have the same favorite author and they've been great friends (at least on a once-a-week basis) for over a year.  When the other girl's mom asked to have Girlie spend the night I set my concerns aside and let her go - she had a great time!  When Boyo started getting more involved in ballet, his instructor suggested we let Boyo ride with him to some of the events because rehearsals and multiple performances mean a much longer day for us, as we live out of town.  Because the people involved as so familiar to the kids, and understand their issues for the most part, these excursions have been successful and we always hear the kids behaved well.

Sometimes it's hard to remember I need to be myself - my own person - even though I'm a parent of children with challenges.  It can be difficult to retain my own identity if I don't occasionally separate myself from them.  By the same token, how can we ever know how effective our teaching is if the kids are never allowed to sit for the exam?  If you have a similar situation, think about how you can give yourself the gift of personal time, time with your spouse or significant other.  Then do it. Ask.  I really have found people are willing to help.  Go on, get out and about!  :-)

Helicopter mom or not, in this photo I am in a helicopter - knitting, as usual!