True North

I read a great article that had nothing to do with autism, Asperger's Syndrome, ADHD, or ODD.  Near the end was this gem:

"Sometimes a child's internal compass points them to their own true north, and it's best for us adults to get out of their way."


That can be true with children who are on the spectrum or have other challenges.  Same solution - get out of the way, right?  No, in fact, if a child cannot articulate the direction he or she wants to take, it can be very difficult for an adult to discern  the intention - or if, for reasons of safety, one should allow the attempt. In our family, we approach this from two directions: first, to pay attention to how the kids are intuitively handling a challenge; and secondly, to discuss it and see if the child can communicate how the path was chosen.  

Sometimes, after a conversation with Boyo goes off in several directions (often with a much less than desired outcome), it comes back around and I understand what he meant to do or say.  This becomes an opportunity to talk to him about what he intended to communicate, and how much difference there might be between what is in his head and what comes out of his mouth. The same is true for Girlie - when we can follow her logic, it sometimes becomes evident that she has thought through a problem and come up with a workable (for her) solution.

The important part is that we are willing to let kids try to work things out, and see how they react to their successes and failures.  Considering our goal in raising these children is that they may someday manage their own lives, it is not for us to decide which direction is their true north.