E is for...

Expectations.

Mine are usually out of proportion.  I believe one's response to a given situation can be, to some extent, pre-determined by one's expectations.  It's amazing to me that I can still be surprised when something doesn't turn out the way I expect, in spite of the fact that it didn't work the previous umpteen times.  I tell myself it's because I'm an optimist.  :-)

One of the most helpful things we've learned in teaching social skills is to think in terms of 'expected' behavior.  Not 'normal', not 'appropriate'.  Those words imply judgement; that if one is not normal or appropriate, one must be bad.  If we tell a child his or her behavior is 'unexpected', it simply means that it came as a surprise.  Bursting into tears at the dinner table is pretty unexpected, especially if we've been telling a kid forever that some form of fruit or vegetable has to be consumed at dinner.

We can tell a child what behaviors are expected based on age or situation: a thirteen year old is expected to brush her hair independently, and an eleven year old is expected to remember that, if food was just served out of a boiling pot, it will be hot.  Both of those things are usually understood by much younger children, but Girlie is just recently able to brush her hair independently, and Boyo doesn't burn his mouth most days.  Putting the desired behavior in terms of what is expected, along with repetition, has been an effective, non-judgmental way of teaching the kids better social and life skills.  Does this mean the vegetables on our dinner table will magically be met without derision or resistance?  No, in fact, that would be the most unexpected event of all!

We all have expectations, and it's no different in knitting.  Like I said, though, sometimes our expectations are unreasonable based on assumptions, misinformation, or... um... ignorance.  I planned carefully for a cardigan that I'd been wanting to knit for some time: Mr. Greenjeans by Amy Swenson.  It's a very well-written pattern and nearly two thousand projects had already been finished on Ravelry by the time I felt my skills were up to it.  I researched my yarn choice and got lucky last year in KnitPicks Cyber Monday sale; a sweater quantity of Swish superwash merino for less than $25!

It took six months to the day to knit my sweater (but it wasn't a very portable project, so I was knitting plenty of other things at the same time).  My modifications worked perfectly and the sweater fit exactly the way I wanted.  I was so proud!  After soaking it carefully and pressing it in towels, I arranged it on a drying screen.  It was the first thing I thought of on waking the next morning - imagine my shock and surprise to discover the 3/4 length sleeves I'd knitted now came well past my fingers, and the body length was below my hips!  Almost a paper bag moment: OK, breathe... 

This was the first time I'd knitted with 'superwash' wool, which means it's meant to be machine washable and often, dryable.  The yarn is treated to remove the microscopic scales along the fibers, which keeps the yarn from felting together and shrinking; I knew that, but was unaware it has the opposite effect, and grows out of control when it gets wet.  I figured at this point the sweater was useless to me, so it couldn't hurt to throw it in the dryer, right?  After about 20 minutes on low heat I pulled the sweater out and put it on - clearly, a miracle had happened in the dryer.  Beyond all my expectations, the sweater fit perfectly.