Friday, December 23, 2011

Y is for...

Yes.

How often do we encounter this word?  How often do our children hear ‘yes’ instead of ‘no’?

Somehow, I was conditioned to say ‘no’.  I don’t know how it happened, or why, but it was a startling realization.  Again I found myself grateful that I was not the only person parenting the two older kids!  Also, that the two younger kids are young enough that I probably didn’t do any permanent damage.  :-)

When I decided to listen to myself, I realized ‘no’ was a habit.  I rarely even stopped to consider whether the request was practical, not to mention occasionally even a good idea!  Yes, it is OK to have another sheet of paper (even though she's already had 5 and we can practically hear the trees falling, because the more drawing and coloring Girlie does, the better her fine motor control will be).  Yes, you can go outside and play even though it’s raining (because the more energy Boyo uses up outside, the less we’ll have to deal with inside).  Yes, you can have more milk or juice (no matter how close it is to meal time, because neither of them drink enough and both take medications that recommend they drink more than usual, as well as both having difficulty keeping everything, um… moving).  Yes, you can sleep on top of your covers or under your bed (because why not?).

So, do we always say ‘yes’? No! In fact, ‘no’ probably does have to be used here more than in the average home.  We hardly ever let the kids stay up any later on weekends than during the week because it’s an aberration in the routine that requires time and effort from which to recover.  We don’t let Girlie eat as much bread, tortillas, and crackers as she wants, even though it’s hard to get enough calories into her, because she doesn’t take in enough liquid, fats, protein, and fiber to compensate calorically and keep the ‘white food’ from clogging up the works.

Sometimes, we find out that ‘yes’ leads to something that doesn’t work out as we’d hoped, but more often I find it was worth a stretch in my parenting muscles.  Do I pay more attention, now?  Definitely, yes.

I say ‘yes’ to the grandkids more often, too.  Here are two of the littles, helping me felt an oven mitt for their grandpa.
Felting is a perfect activity for kids because, first of all, what could be better than playing with soap suds in the sink?  For younger kids it's great because squishing and rubbing the knitted item is great for preparing those little hand muscles for the hard job of writing.  And yes, they can have another piece of paper.  :-)

1 comment:

  1. Oh so sweet, that kidlet photo!
    I like "Yes" as a rule, but my habit is "No," too. Thanks for a lovely reminder, and a great idea for activity time.

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