I is for...

Incredible.

In-cred’-i-ble: 

1) too extraordinary and improbable to be believed 

2) amazing, extraordinary

Our experiences raising children with challenges have been incredible.  Read the definitions carefully, and use your imagination.  This word can encompass the horror one might feel to witness an eighteen-month-old whose tantrums are so violent his forehead has bloody scabs from banging it repeatedly against a wall.  The mortification when hearing an enraged three-year-old threaten to kill a family member with scissors and knives.  The frustration with a child who has never, not once, slept through the night. The revulsion upon discovering a five year old can ‘paint’ most of a room with feces.  The heartache when a child is so frustrated and angry she screams that she should just kill herself.

The extraordinary revelation, when hope is nearly gone, that there is still hope.  The amazing moments that we hold onto with every bit of strength we can muster to get through those bleak, dark times.

Smiling through my tears at the picture drawn of Mommy with ‘your hair, your eyes, your mouth, and your kiss that I gave you.’  Listening incredulously to a child who can’t remember how to read when the page is turned (because the words are not in the same context), have a breakthrough and suddenly begin reading fluently, page after page, while sitting on a stool in the kitchen reading aloud to Mommy.  Proudly watching a kindergartener play a lively, ‘two-hand’ piece of piano music at the kindergarten talent show.  Realizing the footsteps running through the house at night are going back the way they came, and the child has put himself back to bed for the first time in six years.  Witnessing a girl who has never gotten up willingly in the morning, now getting up independently at 5:00 a.m. – in the dark – to take the puppy out.  Being complimented about a boy who is focused and intent on ballet.

Do we ever really let our guard down?  No.  In fact, we had a gut-wrenching breakdown just last week.  But we didn’t feel hopeless; only tired and, for a while, a bit sad.  We know, now, that every ‘incredible’ experience we go through gives us a lesson from which to learn or a gift for our hearts to treasure.

Knitting has been an incredible tool for me, and Dearest has noticed I have an increased capacity to deal with our experiences more calmly since I started knitting.  There isn’t anything very incredible about my knitting in and of itself, though – certainly not in comparison to this!

This is an extraordinary art installation by Ben Cuevas, and you can see more amazing photos and read about it here.