K is for...

Kid gloves.

As in, the kind one might wear when handling delicate situations.  Children who are anxious can be cranky, uptight, belligerent, and downright rude.  Neurotypical kids will usually acknowledge ‘the line’ and not cross it; challenged kids may not recognize the presence of a line at all.  One can feel the explosive energy in the air at our house, sometimes, and it’s almost as if one incendiary word would blow the lid off.  It takes a lot of energy to not only figure out the source of the anxiety (and sometimes we just can’t), but to maintain a calm and soothing atmosphere as much as possible.

The truth is, I don’t always have that kind of energy, so sometimes we all go down in flames.  All the books we read about raising children with challenges – no matter how much they vary on some points – will give this piece of wisdom: you must take care of yourself.  You must take care of yourself.  The problem is, parents of kids with challenges often find difficulty in arranging time for self-care.

In our family, we have learned to capitalize on moments of respite.  I can walk out to get the mail – that’s good for a few deep breaths.  I can go out to the chicken coop and fulfill whatever small needs the hens may have.  In the summer, I might go around to the garden and pluck a few raspberries or pull a few weeds.  Probably the most important thing Dearest and I have established as a couple is a firm bedtime for the kids, ensuring we have quiet time together in the evening to watch a movie (and knit!) or sit and read (and knit!) together.

As our two have gotten older we are practicing more independence by leaving them home alone, but that, too, is handled with ‘kid gloves’.  We rarely leave the two kids together and we make sure our oldest daughter, who lives next door, is home.  An hour is still the limit.  Having been a model Helicopter Mom for several years I can tell you this transition is difficult, but so very necessary for all concerned. 

'Kid gloves' are also good for keeping 'kid hands' warm, but gloves can make zippers and buttons difficult to manage.  Our kiddos (including the big ones!) like the fingerless gloves or handwarmers I’ve knitted.  There are plenty of free patterns on Ravelry, but once you’ve knitted a couple you get the basic idea and can turn it into mindless, meditative knitting.  Perfect for knitting in the evening after a day of putting out fires.